| HoLa! |
[Jul. 9th, 2004|03:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Your My Disco from the Party Monster Soundtrack | ] |
Hey everyone...sorry I haven't posted in so long, I've just been super really busy and haven't had any time.....BUT now that I have a spare moment, thought I'd post some new summer pics and let everyone know what I'm up to! Sound good?
OKAY...first off, well....I might be moving to San Luis Obispo to go to this uber kewl community college there...if I dont go there then I'm moving to Nortridge to go to Cal State Northridge....Lets see what else can I tell you..I have a big modeling convention to go to in San Francisco in August.....I'm more excited about that than school! I can't wait....its costing me a friggen fortune to go...but WHO CARES....as long as I try and see if I get picked up DNA models, if I don't get picked up by them, then I just want to get picked up by someone that is willing to sell my look....
Newho..aside from that...I turned 18 *woot woot* and I bought my self some Paul Frank Limited edition Mod-con Accellerator glasses....their my fave! There are only 75 of these glasses around the world and I have the 25th pair ever made! Why I'm on the subject of clothing, I hit that time where its time for me to re-invent my self, I've started working on my new college look....and it consist of a heavy load of Paul Frank clothing and lots of oxfords....a minimal of polos and a ton of Paul Frank accesories (belts, hats, bennies, wrist bands, watcheds, glasses, u name it I have it!)...also I've been buying a lot of my apartments goodies....I've gotten a Paul Frank hat hanger...my friend Bonnie got me a Paul Frank wall clock, my friend Amy got me Paul Frank shower curtains...and I've ordered my Paul Frank bedding.....
SO basically my apartment is going to be full to the top with Paul Frank stuff....cuz well, I am the Paul Frank poster boy..
so...um...heres a couple of pics for ya....heres what I'm looking like these days....
....well those are all the pics I wanna post...hope u guys and gals enjoy them....bye |
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| A little PhOto'S 4 YALL! |
[Apr. 28th, 2004|06:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Vibe On by Dannii Minogue...(my new fave song about sex toys | ] |
Well...I am so tired...I dunno why I'm so exhausted but I am...Hope u guys enjoy the pics...i had fun staring in em...lol bye |
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| DeJa...Who? |
[Apr. 26th, 2004|10:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Might Fine by Dannii Minogue | ] |
..Lately I've been feeling intoxiated by a little pisces I know. I feel drunk on this pisces voice whenever they speak to me....and I feel dazed when ever they say good bye. I've got so many fond memory's with this pisces that I can't help but slip into minor comforts that used to be there...
Its leading into to summer and these last couple of months have been deja vu. I keep living my past through my future. I feel emotions and feelings that have long been stored away...Am I okay...yeah? Am I lost...maybe. I'll be found soon....summer we'll be here and over before I know it. I think what I need is me a new memory beginer. I've dwelled long enough in an idle past...and now I need a vivid and live SOLID FUTURE.
Latley I've had no time for anyone...the web...or my family. I've been taking care of my school prioritys and getting my life on track for my new begginings. I'm sad but happy. I feel like I'm getting ready to begin a life that I've always wanted. All of this senior crap I've been up to is really consuming my life though, I cant wait till school is ova! YIPPIE~ |
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| KiZz My ArSe TiM! |
[Feb. 23rd, 2004|12:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | China Love by Janet jackson | ] |
 You Are a Perfect Lay!All sorts of guys long to hook up with you, but your standards are set high. You don't just give it up to anyone, but when you do...they can't get enough of you! You have a knack for pleasing and receiving, and sex with you is never boring. Only problem is ~ they all seem to be falling in love with you... What Kind of Lay Are You?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
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| ...One MoRe TeSt....that prooves I am NuMbEr 1 Sweet heart*wOot WoOt*! |
[Feb. 18th, 2004|12:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Love Profusion (Headcleanr Rock Mix) | ] |
 Your Bedroom Personality Is Romantic!For you, sex is an act of love.What this means:You wait the longest of all types to have sex. You've got to be sure that you're in love... And that your lover is devoted to you. What your lovers love about you:You make sex meaningful, passionate, and emotional. You are caring and gentle throughout the whole act. And once you have sex, you're likely to stick around for a while. What your lovers can't stand about you:For you sex and love are so entertwined... That good sex can make you too attached. And bad sex can make you feel unloved. What's *Your* Bedroom Personality?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva |
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| So ThIs QuIz Iz Tottally me! |
[Feb. 18th, 2004|12:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nothing Fails (Nevins Mix) by Madonna | ] |
 Your Seduction Stye: "Fantasy Lover"You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover. What Kind of Seducer Are You?More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
wow..this iz so me! When will I find my dream lover? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2004|07:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Refuse by Aaliyah (rest in peace baby girl) | ] |
So wwoww...this weekened was great...the parties between sat and sun were kewl...and kicken it with my loved ones made this weekened pretty DAM fun...I had a great friday night that left me anticipating more to come for the weekend....
I'm hopping that I'll meet up with Ronnie soon...(Nicole..please make it happen)but if it doesn't theres always the newbie addition to the gay crew @ school...although I think I'm starting sum shit between me and one of my friends..and i dont wanna do it because of a dude!
Newho though..I'm out
bye guys and gals
now its getting late...its after 7 and now its me and you...
you and me
and its whatever you want it to be
..but if its up to me....whatever iz whatever....bye again |
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| WhAt Up! |
[Feb. 11th, 2004|11:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Feel It Boy by Beenie Man ft. Janet | ] |
So...right now, I'm chililng and thinking about my day and everything thats happening in my life! IM SO....I dont know how to discribe it! I'm sooooo sleepy! But I dont wanna go to sleep right now..
About an hour ago, I wrote my friends essay for em.....and then I finished my fashion article...
THEN...I started thinking about a certain sumone I might be goin out with soon...for those of you who know who he iz....CONGRATS...and those of u who have know clue...well, I'll tell soon! Newayze, mah trip to Castro was off the charts...i had a blast with my new homies (whom I luv, by the way, WHATZ UP ERIKA AND RACHELLE! I LOVE YALL) Cam was such a great host...once again he suprised me with his fashion and hospitality....so hey cam!
Newayze....I jus dont know what to say....THANX TIARA AND LEASLIE for the poster of Madonna naked...mah mom loved it lol....
I'm so tired..I'm so happy...I'm so, so , so, words can't describe me right now...
BY THE WAY JANET JACKSON IS SEXY AS A MUTHA FU**>>> AND I LUVE HER NO MATTER WHAT! PEOPLE NEED TO GET OVA THE NIPPLE BARRING! EMKAY!
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| WhEn? |
[Jan. 20th, 2004|11:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Chocolate by Kylie Minogue | ] |
Why do people walk into your life and smile at you...and not just any old smile..but one of those smiles that sends warmth and invites u into something that u know that person doesnt want. When some things should be left alone because of certain circumstances...it always seems that theres the one person that ignores your past history with them..and they choose to let you wrap your life into theres, while hurting you every step of the way. I dunno if ne of this makes sense...but I jus know, that out of the blue today, I caught myself
wanting
needing
feeling
touching
obsessing
craving
I wanted to kiss...I wanted to hold...I wanted to scream...my emotions rushed and I walked off...my emotions almost got the best of me, so I became an asshole and hid how I felt...saying stupid and meaningless shit so that I could escape from things I want, but I just hide it....
I wear my heart on my sleeve..and brain in my pocket.
I think logically when I dont need to...I think with my heart when I dont have to...and I think with my pants at the WRONG times!
I'm tired of being stupid..
I'm tired of feeling love
I'm tired of being lost
.....when will someone find me, as I continue to try and find myself?
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| CoLLiSiOn |
[Jan. 7th, 2004|11:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | If by janet jackson | ] |
So Where do we go now..I dont know
Who says its all good... fading fast
And its hard to know what your thinking
When you hide inside your head
Your still promising perfection, affection
Winning to loose....Winning To Loose..Winning TO LOOSE
And its hard to break a habbit (lost inside it)
Who do you love now?
And Its hard to break a habbit (lost inside it)
Who do you love now?
So I have nothing to give you
I'm loosing against the fight with time
Tell Me love is over
Its Silence now
Tell me you dont know what love is
Cuz it wont work out with this sign of love |
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| H~A~T~E |
[Jan. 5th, 2004|11:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  rejected | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Begin To Wonder by Dannii Minogue | ] |
I hate this feeling that I have right now...my emotions are in limbo....I'm so gone right now...I'm lost and I dont know how to explain how I feel...I really dont! I just feel like I have things to sort out but I dont know where to start...HeLp Me
I think I'm going to be an emotional wreck if I dont find what I need...whatever the hell that iz.... |
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| YaWn..... |
[Jan. 3rd, 2004|01:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dont wanna loose this feeling by danni minogue | ] |
So I guess its time for an update....and when not a better time then now, since my life has a good dose of drama thats jus effected me a tad bit....so...I jus sign off the web @ about 2:30 or well, maybe 2:40 am...sumthing like that...and then my cell phone buzzez at 3 am and I answer...and to my surprise it was Tim...
Total rush of sumthing I've been avoiding for weeks....my emotions get the best of me as I aid him through a problem that he's having..we were on the phone till almost 5...and as I talked to him...he revealed things I didn't know..and things I did know...but either way, hearing them from him hurt and challenged how strong I am of a friend to stick by and listen...'
It sounds like a broken record...my problems with him..but I cant help letting myself get involved when it comes to him....he calls and I run to him...its sick that I let myself get wrapped up everytime...when will I grow the hell up and realize that by letting him let me get envolved with whats happening with him does nothing but make me become this love sick puppy for him that can't commit to nething unless it revolves around him....
His hard time did nothing but strike an uncalm feeling of dezavous(can't remember if thats how u spell it), but all I could do was listen to how upset he was think about how he felt..and how I felt the same way not to long ago...So NoW Im CoNfUsEd....
WhErE dO i BeGiN....I was doing fine without him..but now I've let him back into my life..... |
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| *sIgH* |
[Dec. 16th, 2003|12:04 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stick Up by Kelis | ] |
Okay...so I'm up right now, and I"m thinking to myself, where am I? I mean seriously..where am I. Phiscally I'm sitting in my chair, but mentally and emotionally I'm jus floating...U know, I'm someone who embarces sex..I love nething that revolves it...not in a porno sorta matter, but in a way where sex iz beautiful....one of my friends recently was raped...and I dont know what to do! I wanna beat the guys azz, but I know she'd would killm e if I did that, I jus feel so bad! How could someone take sumthing as beautiful as sex and make a horrible bond that shouldn't be complete. I feel like shit...I wish I could of been at the party where it happened...I would have never let it happen...Even if I'm not straight, I still have this love for women that isn't breakable. I love women..I love my women freindz....and to hear sumthing tragic happen to them like this, makes me cry...
Even though I feel loved...and I feel like I havta to do so much emotionally for those I love...I swear, I'm on this dam emotional roller coaster..and I'm lonely...I really need some one to be in love with...I wanna help everyone with every lil problem..but I cant concentrate on them if I'm alone. I dunno, I'll figure sumthing out. |
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| Hey HeY HEY! |
[Nov. 23rd, 2003|12:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I Got That (Boom Boom) By Britney Spears | ] |
WOW....So my play ended last night and I stayed out till 4 in the morning...It was so much fun...I was a lil sad cuz I was expecting someone to be there, and I dont wanna quite say who...but it jus woulda meant a ton to me if they would have been there...but its all good, I heard they were in trouble neway! BUT a highlight for the night iz, when i bowed MY PANTS FELL DOWN! I was so embarrassed but it was really funny so its all good! U know what i lov right now, I love Britney Spears, she makes me happy and shes so dam hot lol ne who...nuff said I havta to call the boyfriend bye peeps!
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| ThE BoYfRiEnD! |
[Nov. 21st, 2003|11:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Answer by Britney Spears | ] |
OKAY EVERYONE....YES I KNOW! My boyfriend iz loud, obnoxious, and can be a down right ass....but I the moments I spend with him when he's quiet..and sincere...and sweet are the times I like him most. NO one gets to see these tranquil sides of him which is sad cuz he can really be sweet at times, despite waht he displays in the pUbLiC! Well newho, thats all I have to say...lol bye Peoples! LuV Matt |
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| OOoOOoOOoOOoOOoOOoOOO La LA La |
[Nov. 14th, 2003|03:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Breath On Me by Britney Spears | ] |
You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
TONIGHT IS MY PLAY!!! |
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| My X CaN eAt cRaP AnD PoOp YEAH U TIM! |
[Nov. 11th, 2003|12:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | this song by Dandy Warhols | ] |
Well...Im' not feeling bad but I'm not feeling exactly good either. It seems that everytime I really feel the need to write, its due to my horrific luv life..which has finally seized and stopped, Well, I finally feel like I'm through with Tim. I finally feel like I can bypass him and jus breath without holding my breath with suttle hopes that he missed me. After I poured my heart and emotions to him in this long ass letter that I sent him, he wrote me back with a total fake response that I guess was supposed to sooth me and comfort me...at the moment that I thought I was able to salvage what we had, he bursted my bubble and alerted me to an outing he had with someone else...SO, thats when I realized that Tim never has and never will care about me, he bullshitted his way through are relationship and our short friendship...I asked him to tell me he didn't love me, hoping tht he wouldnt be able to do it, but yet he suprised me, cuz he did it in what appeared to be a world record! He said He didn't love me with such ease that I felt like throwing up right after he did it. Luckily I got away from him before I started to cry, cuz I didnt want him to see me crying, before I left him, I told him are friendship was done with, and that I wanted no more to with him, he said fine, once again, and asked me for one las hug before I walked out of his life....I jus dont get him. I hate the fact that I wasnt enough for him and and I hate the fact that I gave all of me to him. I thought I was selficious when it came to him, but I wasnt selficious I jus cared and loved him, and I always thought that he was the same way with me..but he's not, he doesn't give a sh*t about me, he pretends to care so I'll leave him alone and then plays this I'm so cute role! But Whatever..I'm to grown up for his childish crap and I'm tired of caring about him. All I can hope is that he realizes what he's done..and I pity him if he doesn't, he's allowing me to walk out of his life when im the only one that gives a sh*t about whether he succeds or not...but what do I know, I'm jus the X that wanted to see him happy, even if it wasn't with me... |
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| So ThIs Is LiFe/// |
[Nov. 2nd, 2003|12:50 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Where I Want To Be By Donnel Jones | ] |
Okay..so its about dam time that I wrote..this is for you Tonya..whom said I needed to update! lol...Newayze..well my life isnt in complet shambles..but its not exactly all 2gether to..My gradez currently suck...they could be so much better...I dunno what to do, I'm trying, really I am! BUT its like there all frozen at there current status, and there not moving netime soon! Other wise than my grades sucking...school is kewl..I love all of my friends..I mean I really do! Everyday for the past couple of weeks have been lil *miracles* cuz the love that I've lost, Ive began to gain from everyone around campus....I feel really luved at the moment from all my friendz at school, so Im tottally happy about that! Ya know, this gay thing isnt to bad...I'm happy I came out now..cuz its jus so much fun! I'd recomend being gay to everyone but then our population might suffer..hahaha...OMG...Ya wanna know sumthing great??? Kylie Minogues new CD comes out, and I'm so excited..okay it doesnt come out till Febuary..but I'm still super excited! But newho..I'm gonna go now...I'll write some more later..bye |
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| :sigh: |
[Oct. 3rd, 2003|06:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Walking Away by Craig David | ] |
Well...I'm doin a lil better, as a matter a fact..I doin a whole lot better...2day..I dont know what happened...but I jus felt really loved by my friendz 2day..when I was walking in the halls..I realized that I know a lot of people that I truelly care about...I had a blast 2day...and I jus couldn't stop smiling...I have a ton more to write..but I think I'll do it later..right now I'm feeling undescribable..I feel so alive and yet so down tempo...I'm just here... |
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